Letter to the Reader

        Even when you think you know something, the nature of learning and the human brain is that things take practice to truly internalize. Real learning is when you can take new information and connect it to everything else you know and do. For instance, before this year I'd heard of things like structuring, dominant impression, dialogue, and all of the other literary devices that you can use to sculpt your writing into effective communication. But knowing that these things exist and maybe able to point them out in a professional author's essay isn't enough. To incorporate them natural and effectively to improve your writing, you need to be forced to focus on them even when it feels unnatural, just like muscle building by targeting the smallest most isolated place you can. Once you've gone through the motions and written a paper that has explode-a-moments or dialogue throughout, the techniques will find their way into all of your writing when they fit most.
I rewrote a piece that I wrote early in the term to utilize all of the things that I learned. Grandma Sally

Sally Bittker is the most remarkable person I know. She saved my parent’s marriage, battled cancer, lost her husband, and can still crack a joke. She’s my Grandma. She has been through so much hardship, and it has marked her body, but inside her personality and outlook on life has been left untouched. She is never slow to tell someone that things are alright, or change a sorrowful  moment into a humorous one. My grandpa was the epitome of the crotchety old man, but their 40 year marriage was the happiest I’ve ever known of, from the outside it felt like they never had a singular moment of disagreement or a disconnection. When he passed last year, she hardly missed a step and kept up with her life, working at the temple gift shop, having dinner with her friends a few nights a week, swimming at the JCC, playing maj with her “girlies”, and probably visiting the fingerlakes gaming and race tracks a few extra times per year.

She’s someone who’s always dealt with every obstacle thrown at her with the utmost grace, prominently her decades of battle with cancers of her thyroid, breasts, and duodenum. Her right arm has severe lymphedema from a surgery years ago, and ever since I can remember the limb has been swollen and pillowy, it’s been her “snuggle arm”. She once stood tall, almost 6 foot, but now she’s hunched and top-heavy. Her body is marked by struggles, but her character and demeanor are not. Curly pinkish hair has all grown back now, and her cheeks are sagged but the beaming smile and white teeth remain firmly in her face, full of humor and welcoming.

Hardships are only met with smiles by my Grandma, If my Grandpa’s passing comes up she’ll likely start joking about who she’ll marry next. Once, in the back seat of the car with me and my brothers (where she likes to sit when she rides with us) She exclaimed that she’d married for love once and that was enough for her, this time she’ll be marrying for money. (Which meant George Clooney)

She’s extremely caring and it feels like she holds together the entire family. The frequent dinners at her house are always the same, overcrowded and full what feels like half a dozen generations. When there are problems in the family, she’s the one to always remain calm comforting and supportive. When my cousin got into a shotgun engagement, and then later when the fiance went to jail for drug use, my grandma, over everyone else, stayed positive and supportive, and focused on making people feel alright and watching out for Christian her great grandson.

Recently, my grandma has been riding a roller-coaster of alternating re-assuring and harrowing diagnosis on a tumor in her digestive track. She’s undergoing a form of chemotherapy that’s supposed to be very effective, and it’s making it hard for her to eat and keep food down. But even now, she’s staying warm and cheerful, scolding my dad like he’s ten years old again and always kissing us on the cheeks when we arrive and when we leave. I’m amazed and inspired by her courage and I’m proud to be her grandson.

Blog #5--Reflection on Character Sketch Peer Review Process

1. It helped a lot because I got to find out what readers thought about my paper and what the weak spots were AND I got to read two other strong papers and I got a lot of ideas from what they did with their character sketches.

2. I felt prepared for the peer review session because we got the opportunity to observe a session before we did our own. The process felt easy/explanatory to follow.

3. I wanted to know where the strong spots of my paper were and whether my paper felt done.

4. They told me that I needed more dialog and I needed to finish the stories that I started and trailed off on. They really liked my physical description.

5. I didn't notice the lack of dialogue and the way that some stories feel inconclusive.

6. Next draft I will follow up on all of my stories and give all the details so it feels like they have an end. I will try to sate the readers desire for answers.

7. I would give myself a 50, because I wrote and marked up both of my partner's papers thoroughly with well thought-out responses. I think that everyone in my group got a lot of feedback they can work with and is well prepared to rewrite.

Blog Post #4 -- Food Paper Reflection

1. I think that my pontification on chocolate chip cookies in general turned out pretty good, but my paper was very lacking on concrete comparisons and exposition about the cookies themselves. I would go through my notes and add more of my observations.  

2. The feedback showed that I needed more exposition on the cookies and better transitions. The second half of my essay was underdeveloped.

3. I will add transitions and compare the cookies to each other more. I will also go through all five senses for each cookie.

4. I had a good tone and a good setup/introduction. They thought everything on paper was pretty good, there just was not enough.

5. I learned how important notes were. If we do another similar activity, I will make better notes and make better use of them when I move on to the writing stage.

Post #3 -- Introductions

Introductions
Max Bittker

8:45 am, September eleventh 2001, the New York street bustled with the well-rehearsed chaotic movement of a million people making their way between apartment complexes, coffee shops, MTA entrances, and their offices. It took the roaring silver silhouette of a jet plane exploding over the block and just as quickly over them and out of sight.

This was my original introduction, and I don’t think it’s very special because it tries to set the scene but doesn’t give a strong enough “hook” nor mental image with which to build off of.

1) State a Problem or Dilemma:

On September 11th, a city was struck with tragedy, terror, and confusion.


2) Ask a good question:

What would it be like to have been in the city on the fateful eleventh of September? What could have been going through the minds of the people who were so close to the screaming and to whom the smoke was so real?  


3) Start with a striking fact:

The towers could be seen burning for 20 miles in every direction. Millions of people could see the bellowing black omen, but almost no-one understood what exactly was happening

My favorite is the striking fact, but I think that it could also be combined with the problem or dilemma. Both of them would steer my piece more towards my topic, which was supposed to be people confused and afraid about what was going on when they had very limited information.

#2 The Concrete Introduction

1)
    I thought that The Concrete Introduction was a very valuable piece, it had lots of golden nuggets of advice and it really made me feel like I could make any introduction great using it's guide. The main thing that I took away from this is the idea of writing the introduction after the body, because it just makes sense (except for SAT format essays when you need to plan ahead and use the introduction to shape the rest of your essay because you don't have time to rewrite).

2)
 The best part of the second reading was that it was like a reference sheet. It felt like the perfect thing to clear up any indecision or writers block when it came to the beginning of any piece. Its something I would almost like to keep on hand as its own sheet as apposed to buried in a packet in my folder. The title of the piece was "beginnings and endings" but the endings bit was lopped off, and I think that I would have also liked to read that, especially if it was in the same format.

#1 Welcome Entry

My name is Max, and welcome to my College Composition blog. I'm taking this class because I know that writing and conveying ideas effectively is important, and I want to hone my skills before I go to college. I've already learned a lot about the drafting process, and I hope to learn how to better overcome writers block and get what I need down on paper.