Blog #5--Reflection on Character Sketch Peer Review Process

1. It helped a lot because I got to find out what readers thought about my paper and what the weak spots were AND I got to read two other strong papers and I got a lot of ideas from what they did with their character sketches.

2. I felt prepared for the peer review session because we got the opportunity to observe a session before we did our own. The process felt easy/explanatory to follow.

3. I wanted to know where the strong spots of my paper were and whether my paper felt done.

4. They told me that I needed more dialog and I needed to finish the stories that I started and trailed off on. They really liked my physical description.

5. I didn't notice the lack of dialogue and the way that some stories feel inconclusive.

6. Next draft I will follow up on all of my stories and give all the details so it feels like they have an end. I will try to sate the readers desire for answers.

7. I would give myself a 50, because I wrote and marked up both of my partner's papers thoroughly with well thought-out responses. I think that everyone in my group got a lot of feedback they can work with and is well prepared to rewrite.

Blog Post #4 -- Food Paper Reflection

1. I think that my pontification on chocolate chip cookies in general turned out pretty good, but my paper was very lacking on concrete comparisons and exposition about the cookies themselves. I would go through my notes and add more of my observations.  

2. The feedback showed that I needed more exposition on the cookies and better transitions. The second half of my essay was underdeveloped.

3. I will add transitions and compare the cookies to each other more. I will also go through all five senses for each cookie.

4. I had a good tone and a good setup/introduction. They thought everything on paper was pretty good, there just was not enough.

5. I learned how important notes were. If we do another similar activity, I will make better notes and make better use of them when I move on to the writing stage.

Post #3 -- Introductions

Introductions
Max Bittker

8:45 am, September eleventh 2001, the New York street bustled with the well-rehearsed chaotic movement of a million people making their way between apartment complexes, coffee shops, MTA entrances, and their offices. It took the roaring silver silhouette of a jet plane exploding over the block and just as quickly over them and out of sight.

This was my original introduction, and I don’t think it’s very special because it tries to set the scene but doesn’t give a strong enough “hook” nor mental image with which to build off of.

1) State a Problem or Dilemma:

On September 11th, a city was struck with tragedy, terror, and confusion.


2) Ask a good question:

What would it be like to have been in the city on the fateful eleventh of September? What could have been going through the minds of the people who were so close to the screaming and to whom the smoke was so real?  


3) Start with a striking fact:

The towers could be seen burning for 20 miles in every direction. Millions of people could see the bellowing black omen, but almost no-one understood what exactly was happening

My favorite is the striking fact, but I think that it could also be combined with the problem or dilemma. Both of them would steer my piece more towards my topic, which was supposed to be people confused and afraid about what was going on when they had very limited information.

#2 The Concrete Introduction

1)
    I thought that The Concrete Introduction was a very valuable piece, it had lots of golden nuggets of advice and it really made me feel like I could make any introduction great using it's guide. The main thing that I took away from this is the idea of writing the introduction after the body, because it just makes sense (except for SAT format essays when you need to plan ahead and use the introduction to shape the rest of your essay because you don't have time to rewrite).

2)
 The best part of the second reading was that it was like a reference sheet. It felt like the perfect thing to clear up any indecision or writers block when it came to the beginning of any piece. Its something I would almost like to keep on hand as its own sheet as apposed to buried in a packet in my folder. The title of the piece was "beginnings and endings" but the endings bit was lopped off, and I think that I would have also liked to read that, especially if it was in the same format.

#1 Welcome Entry

My name is Max, and welcome to my College Composition blog. I'm taking this class because I know that writing and conveying ideas effectively is important, and I want to hone my skills before I go to college. I've already learned a lot about the drafting process, and I hope to learn how to better overcome writers block and get what I need down on paper.